Welcome to my new blog! On this blog I will tell stories of my life as a pastor’s kid, pastor’s wife and pastor. There will be stories of both pain and grace. In 2009 I left the ordained ministry, and after searching for over a year, decided to not go back to any form of worship. I still love and believe in God, but being in Church only distances my sense of God’s presence. I still have friends who are able to find grace and community in church and I celebrate that. I still believe and try to follow the teachings of Jesus, but I believe that God reaches people in the ways that they can receive and commune with God.
John Wesley, the founder of Methodism–the tradition in which I was raised and ministered–wrote about “plundering the Egyptians.” What I think he meant was finding truth and God’s wisdom in things other than Scripture, believing that God can speak through many avenues; ie. music, literature, poetry, nature, etc. It is not my intent to draw people out of the church. I truly celebrate my friends’ experiences of grace and community within the Christian church. My goal here is simply to tell my stories, part of which will be about why I left, but also about the grace I experienced within the church and since I left.
I’ve read brilliant memoirs of people who left church or their religious traditions and no longer “believe.” Reading their stories, I can understand. However, I am not one of those people. I am still seeking, learning and discovering in my spiritual life, and leaving church was part of that journey. I hope you will join me.